The Meaning Of "Island Time"

ABOVE: Dale fixes everything

Once we moved to the island I realized that my entire life up until then had been lived under an erroneous assumption regarding workmen or repairmen. The assumption was that if I called someone to have some kind of service performed and an answering machine or voice mail took the message I could expect a call back to acknowledge that the person had received the call and was or was not able to perform the service.

Well, that's not the way business is conducted on the island. The accepted custom is that you call and leave a message and then maybe two weeks or a month later the person will call you back and say now he is free to consider your request and work you into his schedule. Or, if he was too busy or not interested he would just not return the call at all. At first this infuriated me so I would simply call around to find someone else to do the job, although this was not always easy to do since workers here are at a premium.

Then I decided on another tactic. I would call, leave my message and add an addendum requesting an immediate call back to establish if there was an interest in even doing the job eventually, even though he might be too busy at the moment. Sometimes it actually worked, but they usually acted as though they were doing me some special favor by replying before they were ready to do the job. Commitment was not a highly prized character trait.

I finally hit on a godsend by the name of Dale. I've never known Dale's last name because everyone calls him just Dale and when you write him a check you make it out to "Dale's". Dale fixes everything, which solves a lot of my problems, but regrettably, he doesn't clear away downed trees, trim bushes, remove moss from roofs, pump septic tanks, or deliver gravel or compost. Dale careens around the island in his big red, white and blue panel truck with the word DALE hugely displayed on each side panel in a crosswise slant that takes up the entire space. You can spot it a mile away. It's a very canny move because he gives the impression of being ubiquitous, so when something in your house breaks the vision of his truck immediately comes to mind.

One winter we had suffered through a whole week of furnace failure with the local furnace repair service, and while they ordered wrong parts and acted as though they'd never seen a propane furnace, we froze. Finally, after investing over $400 we called it quits with the company and called Dale. When he took the call he was barreling around the island, as usual, and when I explained the situation he bellowed, "Well why the hell didn't you call me in the first place?!" "Well, geez, Dale," I whined, "I didn't know you fixed furnaces too!" "Well look at my ad in the Yellow Pages," he bellowed again, good naturedly indignant, "that's the first thing that's listed. I can be there in about an hour." He was, and it got fixed that day.

Dale not only fixes things well, he spins wonderful yarns about his life, which keeps David entertained. Watta guy!