Is David Really Comfortable Here?

I am by nature an introvert and loner. First children frequently are, and for the first four years of my life I lived in an apartment building with just my parents, and because there wasn't an opportunity to play with other children I entertained myself. I never outgrew my introverted independence.

David, on the other hand, was the youngest of 3 children and was brought up in a neighborhood of numerous children. He's never been without the company of others. He is an extrovert, in need of others from whom he can bounce ideas and exchange views. Opposites DO attract, and David and I have been juggling our different needs throughout our life together.

I had foolishly thought that once we were ensconced in our beautiful house on our beautiful property with our beautiful view that's all he would need--besides me, of course. In retrospect, I don't know what I thought he'd do with his time. For 15 years or so he'd been playing golf 3 times a week. He had his own business that he ran out of our home, but he'd planned that so that his business never interfered with his golf.

I really didn't expect him to turn to me for his sole source of company. I knew both of us too well, and I knew having him around all the time, depending on me for conversation would soon drive me up the wall. A friend, who was familiar with my personality, had once given me a decorative pillow with a hanging ribbon attached that I could hang on the doorknob and shut the door to my office. On it was embroidered, "I vant to be alone." Supposedly a famous actress from the twenties, Greta Garbo, who spoke with a Swedish accent, had said this in a movie and it became an "in" thing to say.

I guess I thought he would just sort of putter around, take up painting again or do yard work to take up the slack. But of course he would never be able to tolerate this. He'd moved here to please me and I was grateful for it. But now he drove 120 miles, 3 times a week, to the golf course we had left and that he'd simply had to walk across the fairway in order to meet his friends. Still, I thought this wouldn't last. If he couldn't give up golf he could surely find a golf course closer. But what I failed to fully understand was that it wasn't really the golf course as much as it was the company he kept. If he couldn't play with convivial guys the golf wasn't worth the trouble.